I was one of those kids that didn’t really fit in. The other kids in my life seemed slimmer, more confident and better looking than me. At least, I felt that they were all of these things, compared to me. I felt different. How did I deal with this? I read. I became my […]
Its been a while and the reviews havve been up sometime on the respective sites so given one is a sequel and the other is a prequel that makes it a theme right?
anyway here we go;
ZOMBIE WOMEN OF SATAN 2 DVD REVIEW
This is a terrible film, this is a troma level of terrible without the effects or even multiple cameras. But I have been asked by our editor to talk about the whole DVD and it is surprisingly rewarding. Even if the editor turns up halfway through and …. well he also asked me to review the whole experience so here you go
Its envelope and I put the pics up with mic. Even before I begin I get the sinking feeling at the scrawl on the back says the dvd is not in proper order. Sighing I take it up stairs, thank fuck. As the cover is a montage to make a bad thing look even more trashy. Then I wait until the folks re away and get myself ready to review this.
Having not seen the first film, who did, I was not sure about pervo, part Alan partridge and part chubby brown he is a survivor of some previous zombie women attack desperate to get back in the limelight. Grubby encounters with several entourage he has later and we see him taking a road trip to a deserted area. His adhoc entourage making up the fodder and counters apparently one of them was on a big brother. Not sure which and he seems as incapable as most of the script. The film is largely improvised, great. You need talent for improv or at least a tight script to rephrase from. This is just shouting cunt a lot. Which is kind of funny, with timing, nuance, pause. And the word cunt. But that’s not what happens.
Special mention should be given to the strong female super team “the bad habits”. Sizzling in sass as the four force fox four they have a great chemistry and a sense of purpose but that is soon spent like one of pervos “jokes” very quickly. Given how they do most of the genuine action there was a faint promise of me finally seeing the “renegade nuns on wheels’ vs Batwinged Bimbos from hell” film I am constantly kickstarting but it never happens. All of this gets padded out with more and more scenes which it seems only exist to hit the magical feature length run time. I think it says a lot the main zombie conversion only occurs a good forty minutes into the film. And they spend most of the film shuffling off the side of the camera like an irate mob from the benny hill show. An obvious inspiration for some of the Japes, but again without the pacing, puns or levity.
Warren speed has given himself a tough role relying on sheer energy to bulldozer this through. However, the screen has amazing stopping power as does the makeup he must have endured to keep that look on throughout. On a low budget feature (the first of many low budget feature comments) if you can’t afford good shots to get the expression, then don’t cover the expression with kiss make up
Watching this is Like watching through a flickering peephole for bad taste.
the lighting is off. The location look like holding placements/ those interscene bits you would see on shitcoms to show where the groovy gang are now. Apparently, they only had one camera, and that camera could not move through any of the sequences. This film could do with a D.O.P and…another camera. Even iPhone level would have helped.
The commentary is in many ways a bizarre experience. After sitting through a badly shot, badly lit, poorly veiled softcore with no story we get a rather earnest viewpoint from the director who, bless him obviously put so much work into this. At every point. Yet for what. I get the feeling the relationship with warren was warren screaming what was important to his mind and the director being some freakishly capitulating soul. There is a drinking game to be had in this, down a shot every time he says “in a low budget movie” it’s almost like a mantra. Made even more incomprehensible as so many decisions about a low budget movie are poor. The wet t shirt scene serves no purpose, he knows it serves no purpose, but it makes the film feature length. That’s not a feature. That a short with some tits in it boring everyone. He is dedicated to trying to make a story. That did not happen. He is obsessed and to be fair to him he dolls out credit to all the people who made the film happen. From the sound mix to getting a ford Capri. The Capri is good for a scene and how much do you need to hear pervo swear in High Def? watching my editor pratfall like a massively cheap Finsbury park tribute was good but not enough is made of it. And some lighting would have helped a lot.t even another camera would have helped. And actors. And…you know what. Watch it with the commentary as it’s like the don Quixote of fucking commentaries.
In short the film is nothing you haven’t seen clogging up the content folder of amazon prime to try and compete with the quality on Netflix. Its badly filmed and paced and the moments of game high kinetic punch it seems to try and capitalise on would have been better in a 15-minute short. I do bizarrely enough recommend this DVD. I recommend it because the commentary. If you’re interested in making films, whatever else these fuckers did it. You can learn so much from this and I know my next short will be better for it so with that in mind.
ROGUE ONE REVIEW : A DIM HOPE
Well this was the bold decision to create a hidden chapter in the franchise. While it would be familiar enough toe the ‘classic trilogy’ it would also suffer for being a foregone conclusion in many ways so one does not envy the task given Gareth Edwards in this first foray into a cinematic expanded universe.
IN many ways, the film takes us to a much greyer world then the classics. A brutalistic one frankly as not only has a sense of hope been removed, but with it any sense of dashing escapes, wit and derring do. While we follow the story of Jyn Erso, daughter of Galen erso the man who would be at the core of creating the death star we slowly see her back story as the film sees her come to join the rebellion and lead the cadre to steal the plans.
While the force awakens was criticised for being too much like A New Hope, this film is closer in beats and story, complete with cantina like scenes of intrigue and politicking. In many ways, this is like a bizarre Mirror Universe of the first film. With Erso as skywalker, Cassian as a more bloodthirsty “shoot first, shoot last and shoot always” Han Solo with an evil goatee, Alan Tudyks Reprogrammed android the new Chewbacca and Forest Whittaker shouting platitudes and grievances like the obi wan Kenobi toy when it gets kicked out the pub in an Adam and joe sketch.
Admiral krennick is charismatic as the evil lead, he has poise lines and wit. Sadly, he seems somewhat perfunctory to the events as they unfurl and ends up being the Empires most aggressive admin assistant. I mean the best dressed one too but ultimately…. a man from H.R who needs you to sing a form.
The problem I think that lies in the heart of this is the film neatly breaks in two. The first half is showing a Star Wars world with more desperate measures being undertaken and no force powers to save us. Unfortunately, by doing that the years have been unkind to this era and by covering everything in a filter of shit the underdog scum lands look pretty unoriginal compared to all the direct underdog skive lands that stole from Star Wars in the 80 and 90’s. I did have points where I was thinking …” fuck it …put Trancers on”
Having said that though the second half kicks like a mule and once the mission is a go I was enthralled. I think it takes some doing in this case as while so much of the events are a foregone conclusion Edwards has created some of the best space battles ever put to screen. and the last 20 minutes manage to confirm everything we thought happened while showing us it in such a way you cannot help but be excited.
I often have told friends and confess that whenever I watch Star Wars again on my own, I tend to skip straight to the cantina and watch it from there as the desert stuff bores me. In many ways, this is the same. You will have a great time at the end, but whether or not it was worth it with a leaden start is harder to say. P.s. I really suggest strongly you think about taking younger kids or not. I have a6 year old nephew and have text his dad to have a look first. It’s the grimmest most viscerally and brutally violent star wars yet. And I think is the poorer for it.
We hope to stage the annual Malcolm Hardee Comedy Awards Show this year, as usual, on the final Friday of the Edinburgh Fringe – 26th August – but not in its normal venue of the Countin…
Hi there. well I been doing stuff…and things. been playing with other blogs. but your the important worky one so.
blogger stuff is going to be merged with tumblr.
tumblr is also spewing piacutres which are dead pretty at that.
soundcloud to listen to my gigs.
and stay here for proper published mature written stuff without the so;ifhsopfgihasgophasfgopas stuff
a lovely little colelction fo word sound and pictures on this entry so get your self varked
So like most comedians I have started a podcast. Yianni Agisilaou took the piss out of me when we drove to a gig together recently because I kept mentioning how I was ahead of my time with so many things and should have stuck with them. He’s right to take the piss of course, because now I’m finally getting round to doing a podcast it will look like I’m jumping on the band wagon rather than being the pioneer that I am.
So I checked out some online videos, bought some clip on mics and for a few quid turned my cheap digital recorder into a multi microphone podcasting kit. As I was getting lots of nice compliment about my comic I also discovered that a lot of the comedians I know also read comics. This got me thinking, how many times have I talked and talked and talked about…
View original post 140 more words